Pretty Wicked Moms

"I told him, I am just too posh to push" Emily, P.W.M

Like most gals my age I love a bad reality show. However, my new favorite guilty pleasure deserves

an award. Yes, it's that good/bad. Pretty Wicked Moms on lifetime is all it claims to be. Over the top

 moms who in 3 episodes have hooked me in with their claims of being," too posh to push" and

leaving their child home sick on Halloween to attend a family costume party dressed as a sexy pirate.

The "doggy mom"Nicole  (her only child is a dog) is sadly the most sane of them all. Nicole and her

BFF, Emily make the show!


What keeps me coming back are the one-liners from "Queen Bee" Emily. So far she's had the above

comment as well as bawling when the nanny went on vacation for a week leaving her alone with her

daughter Amzie. Nicole asked her what her daughter ate and she said she didn't know she forgot to

ask the nanny. My favorite was when she let her little girl drink coke and said," I mean I have lived

on sugar my entire life. That's why I'm so sweet." classic! Then, bless her heart, Emily trying to be a

good friend, asks if it's ok to give Amzie a lollipop, "Yea, like that kind of sugar is ok." As opposed

to the other kind?

EmilyNicole

Photo courtesy of lifetime

 

 

 

As they are getting ready for the Halloween party Emily holds her hands up to her tiny cheekbones

 

 and says,  "I am just emaciated!"  To which Nicole asks," what does emaciated mean, is that like

 

evaporated?" To Emily's credit she is honest and says," I don't know" and looks completely confused.

 

 There was a scene when the two of them are filling out absentee ballots and can't figure out what

 

straight voting is. They assume that it's because they are heterosexual. They are like a modern day

 

Lucy and Ethel only blonde and well you catch my drift. Sadly, I can't wait for the next episode.

 

Salvation Saturday

We decided to spend the day at the pool as a family. The pool opens at 10:30 and we arrived at 11:30,

 we wanted to be fashionably late of course.  :p  But Lo and behold today was one of six Saturdays

that our pool would/will be opening late due to swim meets for our community swim team. We had

two hours to kill so we did the obvious, we went to lunch. Then we were left with 40 min to spare

and that's when I spoke up. After a bit of convincing we took a peek at my favorite Salvation Army. I

found an interesting looking chair and a set of end tables but John has me on furniture buying hiatus

 until I complete a few projects, and since he was with me there was no way to hide a chair in my

purse lol. We I searched high and low and then I found this little treasure....

Don't you think it will be cute painted or Rub n Buffed silver and placed on our dresser?


I've also been on the search for intriguing fabrics for a few projects that I have up my sleeve and

where better to look than a thrift store?! I combed through the racks of textiles and found this little

number.

 

It looks like a twin bed sized pillow case! The only thing that I can imagine it may have been used for

 was a homemade duvet cover. Regardless  I'm in love with the colors and the seashell pattern. It's

beachy look is visible without being obnoxious.  Plus, for  $1.99 or .30 cents a yard, what an amazing

 deal! Even on sale with a coupon you can't get a deal like that!!! I can't wait to start my projects and

share them with you!

easiest/best chicken tenders ever!!!

As a stalker lover of pinterest I am constantly finding mind blowing ok things to pin. Being the

novice chef that I am, I do from time to time pin recipes. Occasionally these recipes turn out to be

 duds *cough* 3 three ingredient cookies. Seriously, who thought a cookie made out of bananas, oats

and one other ingredient would be a good idea? It wasn't, don't pin it, don't try it and most certainly

if offered DO NOT eat one! Anyways, when I find a scrumptious recipe I want to share it with all of

my friends, neighbors and strangers. I'm not joking, I like to share my knowledge for

good. My qualifications for a recipe are as follows..

1. Must be easy

I don't want to be sitting in my kitchen for four hours slaving away over the stove. "Ain't nobody got

 time for that!" Unless you are a professional chef or Martha Stewart, lets be honest here, simple is

better.

2. I will avoid any recipe that has an ingredient I can't buy at a normal grocery store

I am not going to search high and low for some fancy shmancy ingredient/herb/spice. Rest assured I

am the last person who would order anything off of the internet for a dish. Now if we were talking a

craft project, forget it I'm all yours but cooking? Nope not gonna happen.

3.If it fails the four year old test and the John test it's out

Really? I'm going to make a dish, meal for myself? Just being honest.


So back to my pinning. I found a recipe for Weight Watchers Crusted Honey Mustard Chicken. It

looked easy peasy and a great alternative to chicken tenders which E begs for.  I loved that it was

W.W. which meant it had to be low fat, right?! Now if you know one thing about me it's that I never

follow a recipe, oops. The same rang true for this one, right off the bat I left out the dill and was too

lazy to grab shoes to walk down to our garden to grab a scallion. so scallions and dill you can cross

 off of your grocery list. I typically double a recipe since since John and E are big eaters (yes he's

only 4 1/2 ) and I also add extra  pepper to everything and less salt.

 step #1 defrost your chicken tenders...I bought a frozen bag of them.

step #2 get two bowls ready

        -crush your cornflakes in one

 

        - add your honey mustard dressing*, pepper and salt in the other (totally recommend Ken's

Steakhouse Dressing, it's a perfect chicken tender dipping sauce)

 

*They said to use lite dressing, I of course deviated from this, being the rebel that I am

step#3 spray your 9x13 pans with ample cooking spray and preheat oven to 425

step#4 dip your chicken tender in the honey mustard sauce

step #5 dip your wet chicken tender into the cornflake crumbs, flip and repeat(I really crush the

crumbs onto the chicken to make sure it sticks)

step#6 put the tenders into the 9x13

 

 

 

step #7 cook for 30-45 min. until the cornflakes start turning mid- darker brown DO NOT FLIP the

chicken tenders midway*

 

 

*I did this the first time and it made a mess and didn't taste as tender

step #8 thank me b/c you will be enjoying an easy/ low fat/ yummy meal : P

 

 

 

 

Linking up with:

confessions part 4, how to get in trouble at chick-fil-a

Today I'm making a big confession.  I've hid it from all of you for months and I need to come

clean. I love, love,  love reading blogs. I get inspired by them, I want to create more, blog more and

become organized (notice I left out MORE in front of that one :p ) while reading my daily favs..

However, there is one caveat.  The blog-ception if you will. I read a very small handful of fashion

blogs and there is one blog that just irks me. So you'd assume any normal person would stop reading

the blog, but I cant quit, it's like she's got a hold on me and I want to see what interesting outfit she's

put together this time. Don't get me wrong I don't claim to be a fashionista, I have my own share of

mishaps.  Hello, yes I'm speaking to you my multitude of yoga pants, racerback tanks and that one

pair of holey jeans that John hates. BUT, if my blog was a fashion blog and I was taking 4+ pics a

day of myself I would at least IRON my outfit prior to the pic, wooooooooooosh, feels good to get

that off of my chest. I know we all walk out of the house wrinkled from time to time and I'm not

knocking her for that. I'm glad she's keepin it real, just could we iron maybe once a week!? I feel like

 a bitch admitting this, she's probably super nice and we would probably even be friends in real

life, but it is confession Wednesday. I guess this is why I don't have a fashion blog, I can be wrinkled

 and revisit my yoga pants anonymously to my hearts content.

While I'm confessing shameful secrets lets move on to the next one, shall we? I got reprimanded in

the chick -fil-a play place yesterday.  I promised E that we would go to the playground, so of course

it rained. After a long morning of swim class, playing at home, lunch, a dr.appt and a quick trip to

DQ for a sprinkle cone we had some energy to burn off. E chose chick-fil-a as his indoor playground

 du jour.  We'd already had a healthy lunch AND a sweet treat so we made a deal, we would play but

no chicken nuggets or snacks. Obviously we couldn't just use and abuse the play place so I purchased

my absolute favorite, I'm drooling as I type, a large coke with lemon in a styrofoam cup...swoon. Off

 we went. E concurred the tunnels and mastered the slide while I played on the iPad and sipped my

coke.  Two sips, that's all I took before my drink fell and burst all over the carpet. I had to do the

walkof shame up to he register and tell the young girl that I spilled my drink everywhere . She was so

sweet and brushed off my attempts to help. I still managed to pick up all of the ice and lemon at least

. Then the young guy that worked there told me that "accidents happen" and got me a new drink, man

 I love that place. Until the manager came in and yelled spoke sternly to me. She pointed out the

laminated poster stating no food or drink allowed and pointed to the carpet and said, "that's why" lol.

Then asked me to leave my drink on the table outside of the play place. Um yeah no. I'm not leaving

my drink on some random  table to come in and out to grab. Or take up one of your tables for no

reason, and if I sit at one of the tables E will be in and out to "tell me something."  How bout I learn

from my mistake and keep my drink on the floor, mmmkay?

tv with mom part 1

                           Duck, Duck, Goose Dynasty

Tonight I was alone for a few hours and decided to head over to my mom's for a bit. As we were

eating dinner in her living room she asked me if I wanted to watch any of her dvr-ed shows which of

course I immediately said no to. Instead we decided to find something on "live" tv to watch. After

flipping through 30 channels I found a winner. "Oooh Duck Dynasty! Have you ever watched this

mom?" That's when she gave me The look. You all know which one I'm talking about. That look of,

"are you serious?"  Then the scene changed and they showed some ducks flying and my mom

squealed," oooh,  Is it about REAL ducks?!"  Then it was my turn to give her the look with a big,

fat, "no."  Within the next half hour episode some of her better quotes included but were not limited

to, "why do they look like that, are they amish ? Lauren HOW did you find this show?" and " I am not

watching another episode of this." Apparently my love of Duck Dynasty is not genetic.

 

 

 

debate team

                       Conversations with a four yr old

I used to say things like, "Where are we going tonight?" . Now I find myself saying such

gems as ,"STOP hugging the cat! Cats don't like hugs" twenty times a day. Seriously. I

also notice myself using things I say to the dog with E.  Is that bad?  When E was little John

 would always say," Easy with the baby" and it's stuck.  We tell the dog this with E, younger

kids and other dogs.  And now I find myself saying it to E around little ones.

                    the night I adopted my sweet Minnie(It was ok for gpa to hug her :p )

 I also managed to join a debate team that I wanted no part of.  We meet at odd hours, like

the other day when leaving target after not buying a soft pretzel.



E- "I'm not leaving!"

ME-  "Come on, we have to go."

E- "I'm staying right here!"

Me-" You can't stay at Target forever, they wont let you. I've already tried."

E- " Why won't they let you?"



We've also had heated debates over grilled and baked chicken versus chicken nuggets,

why we eat healthy at our house, why we need to wear our karate shirt to karate and why

we don't eat fast food or get a toy every time we are out.



I try to meet each day with humor, sometimes others (mainly e) don't find it so funny. After 5

 minutes of hearing about his toe we had this convo.



E- "I need a bandaid."

Me- "We'll get one when we get home."

E- "Why can't we get one here."

Me- "We cant get a bandaid every time we go to the pool."

E- "They gave us one last time."

Me- "They aren't here to give you bandaids."

E- " But my toe huuuurts."

ME-  "Maybe we should cut it off"

E- "NO!!!! Wait, are you joking?"

Me-  "I'm just teasing, I was trying to make you laugh."

E- "It's not funny, you shouldn't try to make me laugh. I'll never laugh again. (insert pause) If

we cut off my toe would I need stitches? How many would I need? Would it bleed? Would

we have to go to the Doctor's? "

Me- "I was teasing, we are not cutting off your toe."

E-  "Teasing isn't nice to do. You and daddy tell me not to tease. If we cut off my toe would I

need a cast?"


We also get into heated debates when E asks me a question and then proceeds to tell me

that my answer is wrong. Case in point, E vs the cheetah.  E has decided that the giraffe is

his new favorite animal. We have studied the giraffe in great detail and I now know many

interesting giraffe facts (I'll share these with you below, don't worry). Keep in mind we DID

learn that the giraffe is the tallest land animal.So when he comes and asks me if I know

what the fastest animal is and I say yes the cheetah and he tells me no, I explain nicely

once, twice, three times a cheetah to no avail. E has taken it upon

 himself to christen the giraffe with the title of fastest land animal. Now

 being the responsible adult that I am I can't allow this blasphemy to

take place in my home.  Hard times in our house folks. He won't let

the cheetah win and I refuse to allow anyone to think a giraffe could

possibly outrun the cat.

 

As Promised*

Fun Facts about giraffes:

1. A giraffes tongue is black

2. A giraffe is born 6 foot tall

3. A giraffe's foot is the size of a dinner plate

4. Giraffe's  in the wild only sleep about 20 minutes a day

5.White giraffes are extremely rare and are not albinos

you're welcome*

midweek confessions part 3

Since we last confessed I did it again, I bought another workout outfit. Go

ahead, ask me if I've made it to the gym or worked out, I dare you. We all know

the answer. But I must say these new yoga pants are Ah-maaazing, they stop

right after your knee and are perfect for all of my daily business meetings at the

pool and/or the park :p

I'm also embarrassed to admit that I did something today that I have never

done before in our current house. We have lived here for 15 months and I have

never cleaned the fridge. Disgusting I know.  Don't get me wrong , its been

cleaned. However, this particular chore has been left up to John.  I took

everything out and deep cleaned from top to bottom. Parts of the fridge that I

didn't even know were removable were coming out. Over an hour went by and

WOW. Looking at it now, I don't know how I lived with the "before". We are now

 nice, sparkley and organized. Until the top shelf fell down on John 30 min. after

 he walked in the door, as I was walking out the door to karate...true story.


I'm a little ashamed to admit that I may rely on the 4 yr old more than I should.

 Case in point, Last week I realized I had lost my license. This wouldn't have

been such a big deal except for the timing of it. I realized I lost it when I went

to get my passport. The passport that I had to wait over 2 months to schedule

an appointment for. Luckily the lovely lady at the post office fit me in for the

next day at 10 am, IF I found my license.  Since I don't use my license on a

daily basis I truly began to freak out wondering how long it had been missing.

Then I remembered 2 little gems...pool pass IDs and the bank. Both chores

 required my ID and both had occurred within the past week. I knew my id was

at the HOA office. It wasn't. resume freakout. Then I looked at E and asked him

to start naming all of the places that we had been, "We went to target, oooh

and we went to that other target." hmmm I see a pattern building. kid has a

memory like an elephant and continued to name 5 more places we had been

that would never ask for my id. I knew there was no way I would have been

stupid enough to leave my license at the bank, but seeing as how we were

driving by It was worth a quick check. Lo and behold, I was indeed that stupid.

In my defense...when you tell the teller at the drive thru window to deposit a

check and she sends you your cards back with the check cashed and you have

to send everything back and explain again that you want to deposit the check,

then she sends you a receipt back without the cards, it's easy to get confused. 

Another prime example goes as follows," E remind me to pick up kids

toothpaste." Five minutes later," Why did we come to target? What did we

need? I know we needed X,Y and Z but what else was on our list?"

He's not the best shopping list helper but he's pretty darn cute : )


go check out Elizabeth's confession's on her blog!