Friday, August 9, 2013

The Five Types of Moms

1)The Overbearing Mom

Her child is NEVER wrong. She will yell at anyone who tries to reprimand them or tell her

otherwise. At a play place she is 10 centimeters from the slide the entire time, watching, waiting.

 Stranger danger is real and she is ready. Sickness is not to be messed with. Lactose intolerance is

real. That paper cut could turn into meningitis if not treated immediately. Play date? At your house?

Better make it hers. She's kept the place baby proofed for six years. Even her husband wears a helmet

when cutting the grass.
                                                             well, maybe babies should accessorize

2)The Organic Mom

You know her baby wore one of those uber popular amber teething necklaces as an infant. Her kids

drink coconut milk and eat organic snacks in BPA free containers. All of their clothes are made out of

 organic cotton and they buy cage free eggs. They believe in natural, homeopathic cures if possible.

No harmful dyes for this family, they make their own detergent!

3)The Laidback Mom

The Goldfish crackers fell on the floor? It's cool, a little dirt will strengthen the immune system.

Chow down little one.  At the pool? Go play in the deep end, that's what the lifeguards are for! At the

 park? Have fun on the swings. She's got her newest book and magazines! TBall practice was at 5:00?

 Oops, she's running a little late! You wanted Mcdonalds for dinner, well ok. It's a treat why not?!

 You want some soda? Sure, It's not going to kill you. Staying up late happens more often than not

and the beds never need made.

OMIGOSH they forgot Kevin

4)The Nanny

Mom likes the idea of being a mom, the look per se. All of her friends were doing it and she wanted

to fit in. Then it happened and the return department was a tad different than at Bloomie's. Don't fret

someone knows someone, who knows someone who has a lady who can help. But do not even think

of coming at her with a dirty hand, let alone a diaper. I dare you to ask her what her child's favorite

snack is. She thinks her kid doesn't like vegetables, but she's never actually tried to get him/her to eat

 them. Just sat them in front of a TV with a dish and a smile. Parenting is hard work and mom needs

all the help she can get. Whether she's a full time worker or a full time shopper, she does not have the

time to get it all done and "nanny" is just so darn good at it.

5)The Real Mom

She's the one without makeup on, in yoga pants, texting in the corner. That glimmer in her eye? It's a

 culmination of pride for her child, the pitiful yearning for a night out and sheer exhaustion. Oh and

she's always rocking a diet coke and biggie size that bitch. Mama needs her caffeine.

1 comment:

  1. Very interesting post Lauren. It is amazing to see how many typed of Moms they are. Love the" OMG, they forgot Kevin"....LOL Thanks for visiting and leaving such kind words. xo